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The older I get...

The older I get the more convinvced I am that an airtight, logical, linear defense of my faith is not available. At the same time, the older I get the more convinced I am that Jesus Christ is very much alive and at work in my life and in the lives of those around me who have chosen to follow him.
What does that mean? I don't know....

Fall Feast

So I was watching Clifford the Big Red Dog with my son the other day. Clifford & crew were celebrating some sort of annual autumnal festival day. All the trappings and preparations sounded very similar to something I grew celebrating called Thanksgiving. People were traveling to the homes' of relatives and the centerpiece of the meal was a Turkey. As the characters were discussing the origins of Fall Feast, I was absolutely sure that Thanksgiving had fallen victim to over zealous advocates of political correctness. Before I am accused of being insensitive and ignorant of the plight of our Native American brothers and sisters that is not the case. I have even spent a small amount of time living with the Oglala Souix.
I am simply of the opinion that renaming a holiday that is about being thankful is borderline rediculous.

The other shoe...

After an ubelievably great first week of school, the other shoe dropped today. As the bus approached, Jake shouted "I'm not going." He ran back up the hill to the house. I was trying to negotiate with him while a bus full of kids sat there waiting. I had to wave the bus driver on and drive him to school myself. "I hate school," "Why do I have to go to school today?" "I am always bored," "School is boring" All that in about a 9 minute car ride to school. Then once I walked him to his class he wrapped himself around me like an anaconda and the teacher had to pry him off. As I walked out of the class I could hear screaming and crying until I left the building.
I feel horrible because all I feel is anger and frustration instead of compassion and understanding.
I really want to be a better parent. Lord give me grace and understanding and calm Jakie's little spirit and help him to enjoy school.

" I stand at the door and knock..."

Shifting mindset

I think Erwin McManus' word for what we have been talking about within our commnuity is missional. From our discussions, we are not talking about a model change but much more than that a, mindset change. I believe that there is a group of us who are already there. Unfortunately, though I think there is a large part of our community who has grown comfortable in doing church, in the best case or in the worst case, consuming church rather than being church. I like this phrase a lot. It is straight to the point and doesn’t let anybody off the hook. A state of being implies a sense of permanence not simply a Sunday morning thing or Wednesday night thing. And applied in the sense of church that Christ meant it, gives each of us the responsibility of “making disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything Christ commanded.”

I believe we are talking about calling people back to Christ’s original mission for each of our lives, Love God and Love other people. A whole community dedicated to those two things would definitely be a force in the world. Wrapped up in those two things are some seriously counter-cultural ideas like sacrifice and other-mindedness. God’s economy is diametrically opposed to the world we live in. “Lose your life to find it,” “ Give your life away, live generously and you will be full.” These are concepts that don’t make any sense until you experience them in the context of relationship with Christ.

So I guess the big question is how do we facilitate a mindset shift in our community? How do we become a community whose mindset is always shifting to how to we Love God and Love others better? I think Love God and love other people happen sequentially. I do not think it is possible to sacrificially love those around us unless we are in Love with God. So we extend an invitation to people to fall in love with the God of the universe, we continue to create opportunities for people to experience God. All the while verbally reinforcing this idea of falling in love with Him.

Loving other people, I think is much more difficult. I know nothing inspires me more than hearing how others have experienced God’s love through those around them; hearing how others have taken seriously the challenge to be God’s hands and feet.
For what it is worth those are my current thoughts on being church or being a force in the world or living missionally.

Slow down

Slow down
Live well with others
Slow down
Live well with yourself
Slow down
Live well with Me.
Slow down.

Slow down
You were not meant to travel this fast
Slow down
You are going to miss a turn
Slow down
You are missing the gifts I have left for you
Slow down

Slow down
Somebody needs your help
Slow down
Somebody wants to help you
Slow down


Slow down
I have secrets to share with you
Slow down
You need to forgive someone
Slow down
You need someone to forgive you
Slow down

Slow down
Who is chasing you?
Slow down
What are you chasing?
Slow down

Slow down
There is peace for you
Slow down
There is joy for you
Slow down
There is rest for you.
If….if you slow down.

A perfect moment

 
I am increasingly convinced that life is made up of moments; some good, some bad and some perfect.  I had a perfect moment yesterday.  We were on our first day of vacation on the Cape.  Jake wanted to go for a Bike ride, which up until this point has meant training wheels and struggling with those at that.   Yesterday the training wheels were off and he did awesome.  We rode laps around my mom’s block.  He was determined to do it by himself.  He struggled, fell, got up, struggled a little more, fell again and then actually got a few pedals under his own power.  We high-fived.  He got a few more pedals.  He was laughing and hooting and hollering.  “Let’s catch up with mom so she can see me ride.”Seeing him begin to succeed at something that has been a struggle, hearing those little boy giggles,  and running with him as he rode made up a truly perfect moment.

Great week in VT

We had an amazing time in Vermont rock climbing, taking on a high ropes course and canoeing.  We were all challenged; mentally, physically and spiritually.  I think the highlight of the week for me was seeing Danielle on the trip and thriving.  Last year, we (Danielle, her parents, myself and Rich) made the decision not to allow her on the same trip.  She was heavily medicated.  Her behavior at that point was erratic, sometimes uncontrollable and she was distracting to our other students.  I felt like I would be setting her up to fail if I allowed her on the trip last year.  It broke my heart to make that decision but everyone involved felt it was the right thing. She has grown so much over the last year.   I attribute a lot of it to the other girls in our middle school group accepting her and loving her as she is.  She was amazing. She had a great time and needed no more redirection than any of the other students.  My eyes are welling up as I am writing this thinking about how Christ has moved in her life; how other middle school students were Christ’s hands actually reaching out to her.

hiking in vermont

5 days in the green mountains with 20 middle school students. Lord, grant us safety, peace and energy. Draw people closer to you. Draw us all closer to each other.

Metallica and preaching

This past Friday I spent 7 hours driving back and forth to Philadelphia for a software seminar. The day itself was relatively mundane. I picked up some good practical ideas on how to get the most out of our presentation software. The coolest part of the day was the ride home. I thought it was going to be an 8-hour marathon trip home. It took about 4 ½ and I had an amazing time of prayer that lasted from the end of the Pennsylvania Turnpike to Secaucus. I truly felt, in the middle of the chaos that is I-95, I connected with God at 70 mph. I stopped at one of those Burger Kings on the Highway and grabbed some health food. Then I believe that I heard from God…through a Metallica song. I was listening to their live version of One, recorded in Mexico City. I was truly inspired not by the words or deep spiritual meaning behind the song but by the intensity and passion. Four guys pound away at their instruments, in an incredible cacophony of guitar lightning and double bass drumming thunder and move me to the core. At that moment, I thought to myself these guys absolutely love what they do and they do it with everything they have. Why can’t I do what I love with the same passion and energy? Why can’t I teach on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night or Sunday night like that? To move people with the word of God like Metallica moves people with their music…the most asinine thing I have ever written? Maybe. So what if it is, I’m not saying I want their lifestyle, I want their passion.

Arts Conference Day 3

The Last day of the conference was the most powerful for me. There was drama about a Youth and Family pastor. The pastor character was on the edge, feeling like he wasn't making a difference. Meanwhile he feels he is letting his family down at the same time. He is not doing anything well. I related a little too much to its message.
The band came came out and did a song about God's grace. The chorus was very simple:
"It covers me. It covers me. It covers me. It covers." In between the notes of that song God spoke to me. Even in the midst of the darkness of the last couple months, even in the midst of that anger and frustration, the feelings of failure and inadequacy God's grace covered me. God's Grace still covers me. Thank you Lord.

Arts conference Day 2

We had break-outs all day. I got some good tactical ideas on video and graphic stuff, some really cool teaching on worship as a lifestyle and some insights on what willow is doing with the whole postmodern thing. I was seriously disappointed with one break out on creative ideas for smaller churches. It was run by some woman from a church in Fla who basically made me feel like “This is what you can do when grow up into a real church.” I think there was probably some of that in there but also a fair amount of my own junk. All and all a good day.

Willow Creek arts conference Day 1

Day 1 of the willow creek student arts conference, got me really excited about pursuing more teaching opportunities. Nothing or anyone specific, more just a feeling about teaching being my art and a growing desire to create. We had an awesome time of worship with Chris Tomlin and his band. Tears poured down my face; tears of gratitude for God meeting me in the midst of my mess, for Gail running the house while I’m gone to allow me to go, for the calling God has placed upon my life and the community which he has called me to serve.
I was really bummed out by the Willow Creek band, they had five singers on stage all full of life and energy and dancing around and I just didn’t get the feeling it was real; unfortunate and ironic at a conference whose theme is the “real deal.” I asked God to give me a better attitude toward the worship experience for the afternoon. God is good. The same band came back out and played a Robert Randolph and the Family Band tune called I need more love. Sounds like no big deal, but I have been thinking a lot about this song recently and how it could be used at church. I felt like God was saying stop being such a whiner. Relax and enjoy this.
Take homes from day 1: Explore this excitement around teaching and Find out what Gail’s passion is and protect it.

Saved!

As a follower of Christ, the trailers and hype for this movie have made me mmore than a little uncomfortable. Mandy Moore chucks a bible at another girl's head, while venomously spewing "I'm filled with Christ's Love." A youth pastor-type back flips onto a stage with techno music and lights pumping, shouting "Are you down with G-O-D" to crowd of frantic teenagers. The trailer overflows with negative stereotypes. So I checked out the Saved! official website which actually has a tab called "Christian Guide." I assumed it was going to be some kind cynical jibe about the most powerful evangelism tool since the Passion of the Christ. Instead I found two brief paragraphs encouraging Youth ministers to use the movie as a tool to "...easily launch into significant spiritual conversations"
The chatter on message boards linked to the site was predictable. "Why do Christians always want everyone to believe what they do"..."I used to be one of those Christians too"..."lighten up people it is just a movie" There was actually a comment from, either a writer or producer, I don't remember which, that stated something to the effective of, "the movie is even handed in its presentation of "good" Christians and "bad" Christians.
Unfortunately, that is not the way the movie is being marketed. The trailers don't show the "real" kids trying to live a "real" faith in a messy world. Instead, they just show hyperbolized high school versions of the church lady.
My fear is that the movie will attract hate mongers of all types. It will attract those, who hate Christians, to have a good laugh at Christianity's expense. It will attract knee-jerk reactionary Christians who will picket the movie and call it satanic without ever seeing it. The very last thing I think this movie will do is "launch anyone into a significant spiritual conversation." I hope I am wrong.

Good-bye Weekend

This past weekend we said good bye to three folks who are moving and our seniors who are off to college. We had lots of fun with it. We created some highlight films for the students who were moving, wrote a couple of songs about them, and gave everyone a chance to express some parting thoughts and sentiments. Anne,one of our volunteer leaders, is also moving. Her folks were in Town for the weekend so we invited them to our leadership meeting. We shared a meal together and listened to Anne's folks tell us embarassing stories from her childhood.
It was a great weekend. It was a sad weekend.
Anne, Annie, Cammie, Jessie, Ian, and Sam, thank you for all you have said and done. I am grateful to our God and Father who brought us all together. I am envious of your new communities. I can't wait to hear all that God will do in and through you.

New Feed & Stuff

Okay, so I am a total rookie when it comes to all the finer technical points of blogging. Throughout the months that this blog has existed it has been syndicated, then not, then syndicated again and then not and now finally I think it is syndicated through Feedburner .
With the relaunch of blogger, I am also getting rid of the haloscan comments. I am using blogger's new built-in commenting functionality.
We'll see how it all works out.