Keep going...

Unfortunately, I allow myself to drift into this pit of despair about twice a year. But this one seems different, the same contributing factors, I say yes to too many things, I don't get enough rest or exercise, as my buddy Bill Hybels says (no, not really) the pace at which I am doing the work of God is destroying God's work in me. But for whatever reason, this time around I am finding this despair manifest itself in frustration with and some bitterness towards those I am supposed to be caring for. By that I mean, I wish that I didn't have to hold leader's hands, or that middle school and high school students might think about something other than themselves for 30 seconds, or that student's who many people have invested in over the years would invest in somebody else.
I guess what I find myself most frustrated with is that our students who have a faith act no differently than their friends at school who don't. they are just church kids who do the same hurtful stuff to each other but they do it at church and at youth group. To me that is a student minstry that is struggling at best. My thoughts so far are to shut down our weekly high school program in it's current state and replace it with a time of prayer and bible study like on the book of acts or something, hook up with young life and just run club, like the good ol' days, I dunno know...I dunno know...I dunno know.
Then I got a note fromm a student today thanking me for my investment in her life and how she sees God in me. That's enough to keep going for a while...

Go back in time, you heard stories as a small child about a man who would come and free you, a man who would be king and friend. Jump to the future, someone tells you it is he, the promised one, the one your parents and grandparents and great grandparents talked about. They point him out in a crowd, that’s him. The crowd shifts and before you know it you are standing face to face with this physically unassuming man. Yet you look into his eyes and see an unearthly strength, you see care and compassion for those who have only known hate and rejection, and a depth as immeasurable as the night sky. He invites you to join him, “Come Follow Me,“ he says.
Not without warning though, the road he travels is not for the faint of heart, he goes on, there are no 5-star hotels, no fancy restaurants not even a roof for his head. What is expected of you if you choose to follow him, noting short of complete abandonment of everything else, career, family, reputation, personal agendas, etc. His agenda is now your agenda. And for three years you are with him 24/7, you experience the care and compassion you saw in his eyes, you see him breakthrough cultural and gender bigotry, you see him lash out false religion wherever it rears its ugly head, you sit around camp fires with him and simply enjoys his company. You watched as he performed miracles and healings beyond what anyone ever dreamed possible. Then with the power that comes from your intimate connection with him you perform miracles and healings. Along the way he talks to you in riddles sometimes he explains them, other time he doesn’t. He talks about massive buildings being torn down and rebuilt in only three days…He talks a lot about his Father who appears to be the source of his everything.
Finally it comes to this, this man, this friend, Jesus is sharing his last meal with you and his other closest friends. The night, this night, his last on earth is like no other, Imagine a cosmic going away party, your best friend, a relative, the one person in your life who you couldn’t imagine living without, is living the next day. It’s only natural that he would spend his last hours with those closest to him...

The big switch

Well, I did it. I have crossed over to the dark side. I am preparing this post on a Mac G5...I turned in my Toshiba Satellite laptop. So far so so good, I haven't really pushed it too hard cuz I'm still trying to get my Mac feet underneath me. I'm realizing I wasn't all that smart in the migration process, I forgot about things like address books and bookmarks. So in many ways I am starting over but it feels good.
Posts may be sporadic while I get things back in order.

The ragged edge

I feel like I am constantly one step away from flying off the handle. My poor wife and kids usually catch the brunt; I have less patience than usual for my 2 year old son and his temper tantrums. He and I have been having dueling tantrums. It just seems like everything has an element of frustration to it...minsitry,family technology. I took 45 minutes today to just try and be still before God. It felt good. But now I am frustrated with that. I should spend 45 minutes a day before God because He deserves it not because it feels good. I long for a life of peace, you know the kind that passes understanding, and a much slower pace. I don't think Jesus raced from program to program or service to service.

Get up earlier, start my day with God before my kids or wife wake up, concentrate on relationships not programs, be so in tune the spirit of christ that it cannot be contained.

Community of artists vs One artist and implementers

I am back from the Willow Creek Student Ministry conference. There is always a ton of info to be processed coming out of these things but something jumped out at me right away.
A little background first, I hold leadership meetings for my volunteer staff every other week. A while back, I made the decision that these meetings would include very little planning, instead we concentrate on catching up on each other's lives, prayer and a little leadership development stuff. They have worked great. Unfortunately, in this effort to protect my volunteers time, I have all but eliminated them from the creative process of communicating God's truth to our students. In other words, I come up with a brainstorm or brain fart depending on how it works out and then ask for their help in executing the idea.
While at willow, they pointed the two kinds of programs they run. 1) The program where the team, a community of artists, has caught hold of a specific creative idea and each added to it and made it an amazing thing vs. 2) The program where one person has an idea and everyone basically does as they are told or asked.
Our programs have fallen under #2 for too long. The challenge is this: How do I include my volunteers, some of whom are the most talented individuals I know, in the creative process without 1) adding another meeting to their schedules 2) harming, what I believe to be effective leadership meetings?
I am perplexed and excited all at the same time. I don't know how to make this change and but man what God might do through all of us together...